I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
