you traded sex for a burrito?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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