i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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