So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
