I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
