Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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