I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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