last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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