lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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