another moral hangover. fuck.
There r osticjed everywhere
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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