is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
