I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I had to cum in my sink.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
