I just saw a hot homeless man
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
