My liver just broke up with me...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
