Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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