Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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