I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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