big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
