i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
