i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
