I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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