i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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