Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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