I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse