Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

  (903): View more from Texas

  sorry, worng number

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  (903): Your vagain smells worse when im sober. (903): sorry, worng number http://tfl.nu/xznv
  Replies (20) Good night (806) Bad night (4181)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

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  (501): i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever. http://tfl.nu/sfg3
  Replies (31) Good night (1421) Bad night (4230)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.

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  (757): adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded. http://tfl.nu/ax04
  Replies (32) Good night (5731) Bad night (1234)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.

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  (617): So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys. http://tfl.nu/6qzw
  Replies (26) Good night (11347) Bad night (881)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7403) Bad night (1115)
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  (310): View more from California

  If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is

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  (310): If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is http://tfl.nu/w3co
  Replies (9) Good night (3945) Bad night (1041)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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  (603): whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card. http://tfl.nu/d7h9
  Replies (6) Good night (2708) Bad night (517)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today

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  (903): The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today http://tfl.nu/xr2c
  Replies (4) Good night (1619) Bad night (655)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years

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  (717): Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years http://tfl.nu/kz81
  Replies (24) Good night (1138) Bad night (1027)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.

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  (407): There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture. http://tfl.nu/r7xe
  Replies (13) Good night (2155) Bad night (662)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.

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  (239): No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm. http://tfl.nu/6ztv
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (1654)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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  (404): So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter http://tfl.nu/fadw
  Replies (3) Good night (377) Bad night (821)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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  (508): Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list http://tfl.nu/sa1j
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (407)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.

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  (215): okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store. http://tfl.nu/bhuy
  Replies (7) Good night (785) Bad night (339)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.

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  (440): literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck. http://tfl.nu/514p
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (410)

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