Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

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  (847): just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers. http://tfl.nu/run3
  Replies (19) Good night (6153) Bad night (1858)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

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  (843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l
  Replies (17) Good night (616) Bad night (2030)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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  (215): just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on http://tfl.nu/p7yb
  Replies (1) Good night (1170) Bad night (1745)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.

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  (620): Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed. http://tfl.nu/m5ja
  Replies (7) Good night (3284) Bad night (962)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.

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  (585): Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester. http://tfl.nu/c1r2
  Replies (5) Good night (2072) Bad night (976)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age

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  (812): The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age http://tfl.nu/fek2
  Replies (10) Good night (3591) Bad night (783)
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  (408): View more from California

  I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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  (408): I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER. http://tfl.nu/adi1
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (671)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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  (914): Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun? http://tfl.nu/1gt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2332) Bad night (483)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

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  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1547) Bad night (551)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.

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  (615): Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy. http://tfl.nu/d7gm
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (1143)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I feel like a color. Like a wavy color

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  (913): I feel like a color. Like a wavy color http://tfl.nu/hgij
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (570)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  So it may have been laced, sue me.

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  (561): He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming. (770): So it may have been laced, sue me. http://tfl.nu/joyn
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (341)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.

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  (202): My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream. http://tfl.nu/02rn
  Replies (9) Good night (1197) Bad night (258)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.

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  (904): Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/p7rc
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (516)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.

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  (+44): I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things. http://tfl.nu/azn2
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (214)

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