So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
