I'm eating all of the evidence.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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