ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
