I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
