he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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