We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
