Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
