I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
