we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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