It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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