i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
