You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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