final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
