I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
