people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
