belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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