"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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