my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Small penises have feelings too.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
