I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
