do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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