I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
