my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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