Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Houston, we have a squirter
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you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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