i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
