woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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