why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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