i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize