She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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