I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
