it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Where are you guys?
Drunk
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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