He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
