The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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