im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
