why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
