because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
