i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
